Veteran survivor walking to raise money for charities who helped him

Arron Henery is walking 15 miles from Staithes to WithYou in Redcar and Cleveland to mark one year of sobriety, raise money, and challenge stigma around mental health, substance use, and domestic abuse - particularly for men, who are too often overlooked or disbelieved.

The 34 year old Royal Navy veteran is now an ambassador for the THRIVE recovery partnership, which combines drug and alcohol charity WithYou, domestic abuse charity Harbour - one of only two male refuges in the UK, and education and behavioural change provider, Intuitive Thinking Skills.

Arron served for eight years in the Royal Navy as a weapons engineer working on submarines, where resilience and emotional suppression were part of the culture. 

The transition into civilian life brought uncertainty, anxiety, and unresolved mental health struggles. Arron joined the prison service but the initial sense of belonging disappeared and he began using cocaine heavily.

When his mum was diagnosed with cancer in 2022, he says he used cocaine to cope with the stress, “My drug use spiralled. The whole world felt fuzzy. My mum had always been my rock. I even lied to my sister about not seeing my mum in the hospice because I wanted to get some cocaine. I’m not proud of any of this — it was an everyday life, it was with me everywhere.

“I was still able to find excuses to continue using, that it wasn’t my fault, that I was normal. I upped my use, and myself and my partner were spending £100-£200 per day. I felt that I had lost everything, family, friends. I didn’t understand how or what was going on.”

Arron felt that his relationship with his partner was unhealthy after noticing subtle behaviours which left him scared, anxious and in an unsafe environment with his son.

He explains, “Around Christmas time in 2024 thanks to family and friends I finally started to see that my marriage wasn’t quite right, I didn’t know who I was anymore when I looked in the mirror. I didn’t see me, I didn’t see the proud respectful man that joined the armed forces all those years ago. And it was also confirmed by a family member who  intervened and asked me if I was being abused. The question threw me, and my response was to say, ‘Don’t be stupid, I’m a bloke — I can’t be abused.’ I was blind to it.

With support from family and friends, Arron sought support from the THRIVE partnership in Redcar and Cleveland.

“I knew I was being abused but didn’t know where to get help. I had heard about Harbour and discovered they support men too, so I knew it could be a safe place. Abuse is sadly more common than you think. I was surprised by how many people in my course were experiencing the same thing. There are only two refuges in the UK for men.

“I also recognised that my drug use was a problem and wanted to stop, so I contacted WithYou who were absolutely brilliant. I liked that I wasn’t micromanaged; they guided me. At the first meeting, a person with lived experience immediately put me at ease — he told me he had been through it too. 

“They also put me into Intuitive Thinking Skills, where I did a course which was amazing. That was my first shift in thinking. Within the first couple of sessions, I’d learned tools I’d never used before, changing the way I approached things.“By the end of my first week, they asked if I wanted to be an ambassador. They see potential in you that others may not.

Arron wants to set up his own group for men who have experienced domestic abuse, and has a message of hope for anyone out there who needs support but is afraid to ask for it, “If anyone wants to reach out for help, just do it — in any way you can. Don’t be shy. Throughout all this, it has always been my choice to take steps to recover.”

You can support Arron’s journey and help WithYou provide life-changing services for people in need: https://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/p/arron365days

THRIVE is England’s first Integrated Domestic Abuse and Substance Use partnership, bringing together three specialist charities to address complex, overlapping needs in Redcar & Cleveland - WithYou, lead partner, Harbour, domestic abuse charity offering advice, advocacy and safe accommodation for survivors and perpetrators, and Intuitive Thinking Skills, peer-led education and behavioural change provider.

Stacey Skilton, head of service delivery for WithYou in Redcar and Cleveland, said:

“We’re incredibly grateful to Arron for choosing to mark his one year of sobriety by walking 15 miles to raise money for THRIVE. His willingness to speak openly about domestic abuse, substance use, and mental illness - especially as a man - will help break down the stigma that prevents people from seeking support. His walk will raise funds and awareness, but most importantly it will show that recovery is possible and asking for help is a sign of strength. We’re incredibly proud to have Arron as an ambassador for THRIVE, which brings together drug and alcohol support, domestic abuse services, and peer-led education - showing what’s possible when services work together to support the whole person.”

WithYou encourages anyone worried about themselves or a loved one, to contact its free webchat service via wearewithyou.org.uk, or to make an anonymous call to the Redcar and Cleveland service for confidential advice and support.

If you’re inspired, you can help make a difference by fundraising, donating, or supporting WithYou’s work to help people affected by substance use and domestic abuse through THRIVE - https://www.wearewithyou.org.uk/get-involved